Lost in Translation - PART II

A few days ago the boot of my car refused to shut with that lovely click sound that I was used to. I tried many a multiplier to the g=9.8m/sec2 with my bare hands, but the wretched thing just refused to stay put. So finally, I called up the Maruti guys to help sort out my predicament.

Now, I had mentioned earlier how the word “dikki” made me uncomfortable ever since my colleague got severely reprimanded for offering his “dikki” to my European colleague's laptop.

So I called up the Maruti guys and told them that my ‘luggage carrier’ was busted. The person assured me that someone would call in the next few hours and sort out the issue

Sure enough, I got a call from an unknown number within the hour. There was a voice on the other side that was begging for a Strepsil. As soon as I picked up, he proceeded:

Voice: Soumya Singh Gupta ji baat kar rahen hai?

~I let it pass.. My name has been vandalized too many times in the past~

Me: Yes… yes..

Voice: Sir, aapke carrier ke barey mein baat karni thi..

Me: Hanji hanji.. boliye.. bhaiya carrier toot gaya hai.

Voice: Yes sir??

Me: Carrier kharab ho gaya hai bhaiya… aap fix kar do jaldi, bahut taqleef ho rahi hai

Voice: ~laughing slightly~ No problem sir! We are here …. for YOU! Toh aap badalna chahenge carrier?

Me: Pura?

Voice: Hanji pura. Matlab ki change hi karni hai na?

Me: Lock toot gaya hai, pura change karna parega kya?

Voice: Kown sa lock?

Me: Carrier ka lock!

Voice: Matlab lock in khatam?

Me: Khatam!

Voice: Yeh toh achchi baat hai sir… Hum counsel kar denge Sir…. Aap…

Me(cutting him short): Arey bhai! Counseling nahin! Repair chahiye… Aaj!

Voice(patiently): Sir… repair bhi ho jayega carrier….. Aaj toh kuch nahin hoga na, Sir.. Aap pehle boliye aap change ke liye tayyar hain?

Me(losing my temper ever so slightly): Yaar change change… Change kyon karna hai… fix kar do dikki ko!

Voice: Dikki??!!!

Me: DIKKI! Boot… Carrier… jahan luggage rakhte hain…..

~longish pause~

Voice: Sir aap kahan se bol rahe hain..

Me(really losing it now): AAP kahan se bol rahe hain?

Voice: Sir main New Carrier Counseling se bol raha hunh.. Humare paas Genpact mein Sales and Marketing mein job hai...

Me: MATLAB?!

Voice (with new enthusiasm): Sir aapki tooti hui carrier ko fix kardenge sir. Aap bus CV bhej do

Me: Aap Maruti se nahin hain??!!!

Voice: Nahin toh! Sir main New Carrier Counseling se….Genpact…..

Me: AREY MERA DIKKI TOOT GAYA HAI BHAI… CAREER NAHIN…

Voice: hello..?

Me: HELLO!

Voice: Sir… ?

Me: Aap kya bol rahe ho..?

Voice: Sir aap kya bol rahe ho?? Baar baar dikki dikki keh rahe ho……. Sir main ….. Hello? Sir aapka carrier badalna hai ya …?

Me: RAKH SAALE! Phone RAKH! Yahan mera DIKKI toot……………

Voice (off the mouth piece): Pata nahin…. koi dikki dikki chilla raha.. ~click~………….